i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
