East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
