3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
