you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
