I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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