You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
