He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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