its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
