I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You are the jesus of drinking
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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