I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Panties = found
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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