My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
