dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
