Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
