the condom got lost in my hair
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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