if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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