i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
