I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
