Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
