my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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