a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You're like the curious george of whores
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
