i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize