when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
