Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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