It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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