if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
