he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
