im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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