Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
