If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
