ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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