I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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