out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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