I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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