What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
