I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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