You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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