Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
false alarm. still invincible.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
