when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
