and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
