You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize