She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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