Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
