Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
