oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I want is dick and wine.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
