Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
