he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
