So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
