3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
