My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
