Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
