I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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