I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
