And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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